Time to Put Away Play Things

Today I did something that made me very sad.  I've been putting it off for the last two weeks.  (to be perfectly honest, I've been putting it off for much longer than that)  I put away my flight bag.

My life is a series of unfinished goals.

Things were going well.  I was flying a couple of times a week.  I took all my ground school.  I basically knew everything I needed to know to get my ticket--I just needed to refine my skills a bit.  But then time conspired against me.  Travel.  Vacation.  Weather.  My momentum was broken.

Of all the skills I've learned in life, I've never learned how to regain momentum.  I'll start things at breakneck speeds.  I'll have as much passion as I can imagine having.  But once I reach the point at which I understand how something works, the momentum is stalled and I often can't restart it.  That's what happened here.

Aside: At least I think that's what happened here.  But after a little thought and looking back through the blog, I didn't blog any more flights after that bad landing.  I know I had a couple of flights after that, but I don't remember if I ever solo'd after that.  Maybe it affected me more than I think.  I know I still get a little chill when I think of it.

So, for the last couple of weeks, as you know, I've been seriously contemplating a move to Chicago.  And, as is my usual style, I immediately started planning down to the last little item.  I listed everything I thought I need to do to get out of here.  The first section on that list was to finish my pilot's cert.  I really want to get that done.

But after a day or two of consideration, I dropped that section.  I realized that it would put me farther behind both in regards to time and finances.  If I want to get my pilot's cert, that needs to be the focus.  If I want to move, that needs to be my focus.  Moving won.  I hope I was right.

So often in my life, the hardest part for me is not knowing if I made the right decision.  I often forget that it usually doesn't matter if the decision is right or wrong--just that I make a decision.  I need to learn how to make a decision and then make it work.

Not to be too dramatic, but, for obvious reasons, a great line from The Shawshank Redemption popped into my head this weekend and has been floating around since then:

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.