Quote of the Day

If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake.

-- Frank Wilczek, 2004 Nobel Prize winner in physics

I'm Sorry

Dear WoW,

We both know things haven't been going well between us lately.  We've grown apart.

When we first got together, we had lots of fun.  We'd spend all night together--day after day.  And I don't regret that thing we did that one weekend in Reno.

But, you're right--I haven't been putting time aside to spend with you.  I just can't do it anymore.  I don't think we were meant to be together.  Don't take this wrong--it's not you, it's me.  But, believe it or not, I really will miss you.

I hope we can still be friends.

 

Remember me,

Boone

 

P.S. Don't listen to what Bioshock says--I never touched her!  She's a lying bitch!

Oh My

You're a Big Girl Now

Holy crap.  The last few weeks have been a real roller-coaster ride.  I'm not sure where to start, so I'll start at the beginning--the job.

A couple of years ago, when I took the supervisor position, I was excited that I'd be joining the elite ranks of people that have people doing their bidding.  No, surprisingly it's wasn't an ego trip.  I was looking forward to finally having the ability to nudge the direction of the group.  And with the expectation from my boss that I'd still get to spend about 50% of my time doing software development, it placated my concerns about leaving my technical abilities behind.

But, here I am.  Two years later and I find myself doing nothing but attending meetings, shuffling emails and generally doing nothing technical at all.  I went from having one project at a time and an average of 2 meetings a week to overseeing 10 projects and attending 3-4 meetings a day.  (I'm not kidding here--this Monday I have 4 meetings before lunch and then an all-afternoon meeting)

My discontent with this job has been steadily growing over the past few months.  But it finally came to a head the other week.  It was time for mid-year reviews.  I take the chance to sit down with my folks and go over our yearly goals and give them feedback.  (and let them give me feedback)

So, I spent two days squatting in an office, listening to them.  Man, was that a mistake.  A full 2/3 of my group did nothing but bitch about each other.  They didn't like how much money they make.  They didn't like their job title.  They didn't like how person x doesn't come in until 8:45 every day.  (regardless of how late they stay)

Now, don't get me wrong.  Some of those are legitimate complaints.  Some aren't.  I've received some training on how to deal with this stuff.  But I realized that I just didn't fucking want to.  I don't want to be mean here, but I just didn't fucking care one bit.  This isn't what I want to do.  I don't want to spend my 8-5 days doing nothing but trying to bring and keep the team together while attempting to actually get work flowing in and out of them.

I want to spend my days sitting in front of Visual Studio and creating things.  I want to build new, exciting, beautiful things.  I want to enjoy my job again.

So, option #1: find another developer job at Baker.

That should be easy enough.  I've got 2 job offers within the company in the last couple of weeks.  One in another division where they want me to oversee projects at the corporate level.  Nope.  Not any closer to what I want.

My boss also offered to take me with him when he moves on after the first of the year.  I'd spend 80-90% of my time traveling outside the US implementing SAP--our corporate ERP system.  Nope.  While non-US travel would be sweet and I'd be raking in the green, I don't give a crap about SAP.

When I turned it down, my boss asked if I was happy with my current job.  I told him that I wasn't and I needed to find another technical position.  His immediate response was, and I quote: "Don't quit.  What job do you want?  Name it and I'll make it happen by next week."  I just smiled and left it there.

It was nice to know that he values me, but it solidified the other thing that's been bugging me.  While Baker is a great place to work--great people, good benefits, decent pay--I don't like the industry.  I don't know anything about oil.  And after a full decade working there, I still can't tell you even the basics of how our products work.  Seriously, I have no idea.  Again, I just don't care.

So, option #2: find another developer job in an industry I care about.

Everyone knows that the medical industry has a large hold on me.  The answer to "why" is an entire other post.  But let it just be said that I feel comforted and uplifted every time I walk into a hospital.  If I had my pick of any, right now I'd like to be working as a software developer in a hospital.

And, as luck has it, Houston houses the largest medical center in the world.  I checked Monster a couple of weeks ago and immediately found a job and I fit perfectly.

The only problem with this plan is that it still leaves me in Houston.  Don't get me wrong, Houston is a fine city.  But it just doesn't seem to be "me".  Maybe it's time to get out of the south-central portion of the US.  Most people I know from "back in the day" left and seem very happy about it.

So, option #3: find another developer job in an industry I care about in a part of the country more suited to me.

Chicago.

So, our mutual friend in Chicago was nice enough to take care of us while we were at the LAN in Chicago the other week.  I'm afraid I got a bit brainwashed by the "grass is greener" syndrome.

But I've been doing some research, and it looks like from a more-independent viewpoint, it really is a cool city.  Adam's got a great setup there and it appealed to me at a very fundamental level.

So, where does this leave me?  I guess that I've got some decisions to make.  How big of a leap am I prepared to make?  Do I take the easy path and find another job here in Houston or do I turn my entire life upside-down for a while in hopes that I land on my feet in a better place?  This is going to get interesting.

In the meantime, I've started doing the things I need to get my technical skills back to where I want them.  I'm currently waiting for my new home PC to show up.  (the current one is getting a little old and slow)

I've been buying and reading technical books like mad.  I don't want to even see this month's credit card statement.

Before long, I plan to be back in style as a killer coding ninja monkey.  They do indeed exist.

Blog Updates

Sorry, folks. Haven't updated in a while. I've got a backlog of blog ideas to write-up. But it looks like I might have some time on my hands to do that...