So, I'm in the hospital again tonight. This time it's to do all of my follow-up tests.
Right now I'm in a waiting room with about 50 other people. I've got my 64 oz. of barium contrast I've got to drink over the next hour or so. And then it's time to change into the all-popular hospital gown and get one more IV. Then more waiting.
After this, I've still got to go home and find some way not to think about the hours slowly ticking away towards tomorrow afternoon when I get all the results.
I'm nervous.
Believe it or not, this is the first time I've really been nervous through this entire process. For me, everything hinges on these results. Did the last 9 weeks of suffering do the trick? Did it work or is there more yet to go? Is it over or just getting started?
The rational part of my brain says that there's no reason to believe that I'm going to get anything other than good news. But there's that part--the little devil on my shoulder--that reminds me that nothing is certain. There are no guarantees.
Scared and alone. Yeah, that about covers it.
3 comments:
You have been positive up to this point, don't let this change that. I have no reason to believe the outcome will be anything but good. You told me so before you started chemo.
I just know you are going to be healthy! You may be by yourself but remember each and everyone of us are always thinking about you.
We love you very much!
I hope everything came out great - you've done a wonderful job of staying positive and that's always a good indication. Best of luck and keep us posted!!
(((HUGS)))
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